More Than a Day Off
- gaamericangoldstar
- May 20
- 3 min read
After I was elected President of the Department of Georgia American Gold Star Mothers, one of my priorities became education.
Education about the families of the fallen.
Education about selfless service.
And yes, education about what Memorial Day truly means.
A few years ago, Fred and I were shopping at the PX when a contractor smiled and said, “Happy Memorial Day.”
I didn’t get angry. I saw it as an opportunity to educate.
Another time, a veterans organization sent out a mass email encouraging donations to veterans during Memorial Day season. I reached out respectfully because Memorial Day is not Veterans Day. Just recently, I unsubscribed from a Memorial Day sales email. They’ll receive a letter too.
Because this matters.
And the misunderstanding goes deeper than retail ads and marketing campaigns.
Recently, families of the fallen were invited to participate in a flag detail during an Armed Forces Day event. Many of us arrived believing the invitation reflected remembrance and recognition connected to Memorial Day season. Instead, it became painfully clear that we were present largely as a visual support component for an Armed Forces celebration.
That distinction matters.
Armed Forces Day honors those currently serving. Veterans Day honors those who served. Memorial Day honors those who died in service to this country.
Those are not interchangeable observances.
What struck me most was not malice, but public ignorance surrounding the emotional weight carried by families of the fallen. Too often, organizations want the symbolism of Gold Star families present without fully understanding the grief we carry into those spaces.
We are not props for patriotic imagery.
We are mothers, fathers, spouses, siblings, and children trying to survive the absence of someone we loved beyond words.
Memorial Day is not the unofficial start of summer.
It is not furniture sales, mattress discounts, or cookouts without reflection.
Memorial Day is about sacrifice.
It is about the brave men and women who never came home.
And the families left behind to carry that loss… 365 days a year.
Mothers live this every single day. There is no break from it.
This week, I did a radio interview and cried through some of the questions. Not just for my own son, but for the brokenness of the families I have met along this journey. Families trying to learn how to breathe again after unimaginable loss.
Our children never took the uniform off.
They do not receive a DD214.
Their service ended with their final breath.
Memorial Day belongs to them.
So as Memorial Day approaches, I ask something simple of our community:
Pause.
Pray for the families left behind trying to pick up the pieces of their lives. Offer a toast. Lower your voice for a moment of silence. Teach your children why this day exists.
Perform an act of selfless service in honor of someone who no longer can.
The community of the fallen already understands Memorial Day.
Now it’s time for the public to understand it too.
As Memorial Day approaches, we also invite our community to learn more about the mission and heart behind the American Gold Star Mothers.
We are mothers who have experienced the loss of a son or daughter during military service and yet we continue to serve in their honor through remembrance, education, outreach, and support.
Our mission is not only to honor the fallen, but to ensure they are never forgotten. Behind every name is a family whose love continues long after the headlines fade.
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